A brunette, a redhead and a blonde all work in the same office with the same female boss. Every day, they noticed the boss left work early.

One day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they’d leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back, so how was she to know?

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early.

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her spa before meeting a dinner date.

The blonde was happy, happy, happy to be home, but when she got to her bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside.

Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS!!! Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.

The next day, during their coffee break, the brunette and redhead mentioned leaving early again, and asked the blonde if she was with them.

“NO WAY,” she exclaimed. “I almost got caught yesterday!”

A blonde brought her baby to a doctor. After examining, the doctor right away determined that the baby had an earache. He wrote a prescription for eardrops.

In the directions he wrote, “Put two drops in right ear every four hours” and he abbreviated “right” as an R with a circle around it.

Several days passed, and the blonde returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil.

The doctor looked at the bottle of eardrops and sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the following instructions on the label:

Put two drops in R ear every four hours.

The Blonde’s Petition Letter We blonds at the ofise are tired of all the the dum stoopid jokes about us. We think this is hairassment. It causes us grate stress and makes our roots turn dark. We have hired a loyer and he is talking to the loyers at Clairol. We will take this all the way to the supream cort if we have two. Juj Thomas knos all about hairassment and he will be on are side.

We have also talked to the govner to make a new law to stop this pursicushun. We want a law that makes peepol tell brewnet jokes as much as blond jokes and every so often a red head joke. If we don’t get our way we will not date anybody that ain’t blond and we will make up jokes about you and we will laff.

Sined by the blonds at the ofise.

A blonde came running up to her husband in the driveway as he came home from work just jumping for joy. He didn’t know why she was jumping for joy but thought, what the heck, and started jumping up and down with her.

She said, “Honey, I have some really great news for you!”

He said, “Great, tell me what you’re so happy about!”

She stopped jumping and was breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, when she told him that she was pregnant!

He kissed her and told her, “That’s great! I couldn’t be happier!”

Then, she said, “Oh, honey, there’s more!”

He asked, “What do you mean, ‘more?’”

She said, “Well, we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!”

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew.

She said, “Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the TWIN PACK home pregnancy test kit and BOTH tests came out positive!!”

A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know five things:
1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I’m a 6-foot tall, 200-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weight lifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

A blonde was driving down an old country road when she spotted a blonde rowing a boat in a in a wheat field. She pulled over to the side of the road and stopped the car. Staring in disbelief she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while. When she could not stand it any more she called out to the blonde in the field.

“Why are you rowing a boat in the middle of the field?”

The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, “Because it is an ocean of wheat.”

The blonde standing on the side of the road is furious.

She yells at the blonde in the field. “It’s blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name.”

The blonde in the field just shrugged her shoulders and began rowing again.

The blonde on the side of the road was beside herself and shook her fist at the blonde in the field then yelled, “If I could swim I would come out there and kick your ass.”

A phone company put an ad in the paper in order to recruit workers. The next day, two groups of workers show up - a crew of five men and a crew of five blonde women.

The company cannot decide who to give the job to, so they give the two groups a test. The company boss says, “Each crew will receive a telephone pole that must be installed into the ground. Whoever is able to hammer it in first will get the job.”

Both groups agree that this is a fair test, so off they go in the Company trucks with the long telephone poles sticking out the back. A few hours pass, and finally, at 5:00, the male crew returns.

“Yes!” they shout. “We came back first, so we get the job!!”

“Good work, men,” says the boss, “However, we must wait until the other crew comes back to make sure that the reason they’re delayed is not because of traffic or the truck breaking down.”

“Fine, no problem,” say the men.

An hour passes, two hours pass, three hours. Finally, at 8:30, the Blonde crew arrives. All the group is flushed and breathing hard, as if they had just gone through harsh labor.

“What happened to you? What took so long?” asks the boss incredulously.

“What do you mean, ‘what took so long’?? Do we get the job?”

“YOU get the job? No way! The men were back here HOURS ago!”

“Well, of course they were,” say the blondes. “They only put the pole in halfway!!”

A blonde goes to a auto parts store and asks for a Seven Ten cap.

Everybody look at each other and ask, “What’s a seven ten cap?”

She says…, “You know, it’s right on the engine. Mine got lost somehow and I need a new one.”

“What kind of a car is it?” they ask.

She says that it’s a Buick.

“Okay, Lady, how big is it?”

She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter.

“What does it do?”

She says, “I don’t know, but it’s always been there.”

One of the guy gives her a note pad and asks her if she can draw a picture of it. So she makes a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter and in the center she writes 710.

The guys on the opposite side of the counter are looking at as she writes it…and they just fall down behind the counter laughing so hard.

One guy says, “I think you want an OIL cap.”

A new blonde employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there’s something wrong with her password. No, it’s not the usual caps-lock problem.

“The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars,” she says.

“Those asterisks are to protect you,” the Help Desk technician explains, “so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn’t be able to read your password.”

“Yeah,” she says, “but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me.”